Books

"You ought to write a book." I was flattered on hearing those simple words from a lady following a talk. When shortly afterwards they were repeated at another function, I knew that was to be my next project, but quickly discovered the full implication of the saying: 'words are easier than actions'.

James Bond author Ian Fleming reputedly stated; "If something is easy to read, it is hard to write; something hard to read is easy to write." Whilst not daring to suggest my simple offerings could approach his league I certainly discovered the meaning of those words. After many hours of burning the proverbial midnight oil and slaving over a manuscript - well a keyboard - I was eventually reasonably satisfied with my efforts and the favourable comments from selected readers of the many drafts. Thinking fame was almost in my grasp (watch out Harry Potter!) I studied a multitude of publications offering advice on how to find a publisher and whilst all gave warnings of pitfalls, I still managed to trip into most. To avoid heartache for the reader, I will hastily pass over this saga. Suffice to say my efforts were eventually accepted by a small company who produced a very acceptable publication. Regrettably circumstances decreed that I eventually terminated the agreement, so there is still the opportunity for a major publisher to make a fortune and challenge the aforementioned Mr Potter.

Demand for my talks was increasing which confirmed there was public interest in my subject. Then a chance remark to a friend operating a Prontaprint franchise, who did a lot of work for me before my retirement, resulted in him suggesting that if I produced the words and layout on my computer and transferred it to him, he would do the rest. Due to limitations of equipment the number of pages would be restricted to 68. This resulted in a collection of short stories entitled: Call A Second Ambulance this slim publication contains an assortment of tales from my career following the same pattern as my talks. Someone said: "I like to read them in bed, they're easy to put down." I like to think he meant, read a short story before going to sleep.

In February 2006, I turned my mind to a different period of my life and produced a talk and book entitled: A SIMPLE SOLDIER which cover my army service. Further details can be found in the press release below.

Call A Second Ambulance

The Washing Machine - the things children get into; Granger Street – a peep into the seamy side of life; Hang by the Neck – life gets tough; Charley’s Dog – a policeman’s lot; Fox Hunting – now banned but not then; Saturday Afternoon – privies and football; Load of Bull – literally; The District Nurse – it could happen to anyone; Kings Wood – the best laid plans; Infestation – ugh, creepy crawlies; Fire Brigade Assistance – well, the thought was there.

A Simple Soldier

Tongue in cheek memories and reflections of my three years in the British Army during the 1950s - the era of National Service. Army life and events as seen through the eyes of an unbelievably innocent and naive teenager whilst serving Queen and Country in the far flung extremities of the Globe - Catterick and Germany.

Until production of this website these books have only been available at my talks.

I am delighted to say they are now available by post in the UK at £4.00 each

UK postage 55 pence per copy

12 Doctors Lane Hutton Rudby Yarm North Yorkshire TS15 0EQ

A Simple Soldier relates light hearted recollections of a teenage soldier who volunteered to serve Queen and Country in the mid 1950s; the days of National Service when eighteen year old men left the comfort of civilian life for a mandatory two years military service. Without National Service the likelihood of my joining the army was remote. The period was ten years after the end of the second world war, when teenagers were classed as young people and dressed like their parents: years before rock & roll, the Beatles, the teenage revolution, mini skirts, flower power, hippies, free love and punk. A time when teenagers were taught to obey without question; a generation who accepted a lifestyle and discipline totally foreign to modern teenagers. PC stood for Police Constable (men to be treated with respect) and the term politically correct was unknown.

The book evolved from a talk of the same name, which was, in turn, the outcome of numerous encouraging suggestions from my audiences. My joining the Army was, in retrospect, unplanned, very much like many aspects of my life at that time. Whilst some memories of army service were embedded in my mind, the decision to produce talks and a publication required much research. Regimental Journals gave accurate dates, reports on events and names, they also served to jog my memories of long forgotten episodes. The ability to obtain a copy of my army records not only added greater accuracy, but provided sight of documents I had never seen. Whereas I now recognise the accuracy of the opinion of the Personal Selection Officer when I first entered the army, I am sure those words would have dented the high opinion I held of myself at the time.

Although people of my age will relate to my teenage innocence and naivety, this aspect will probably be met with disbelief by present day youth. I consider I was not unique in this gullibility; we were brought up to accept that orders from above were to be acted upon and not a matter of debate. Consequently I accepted the rose-tinted view of the Army Recruiting Sergeant, in the same way I accepted being chased around by NCOs during my training. The thought of leaving and retuning home was not an option, mainly because of recall for National Service - the same life with less pay and privileges. Regimental life in BAOR Germany followed an annual pattern - schemes and training. Our role was to provide a buffer against the forces of the Soviet Bloc. The British army was huge and although units were engaged in trouble spots around the world, regiments were relatively static, hence the excitement of Suez. As an example; excluding the Household cavalry and Royal Tank Regiments, in 1955 there were 19 regiments of line cavalry - today, 2006, there are 8.

I confess to producing A Simple Soldier with the notion of it being of interest to men of my generation, but have been pleasantly surprised to discover the subject is well received by ladies, giving them an insight into what those young men did, and it is rewarding to hear favourable comments from ex service and serving soldiers. Young people also seem to obtain pleasure from a glimpse into dad or grandpa’s days. In fact, my light hearted presentation seems to give most people a relaxing look into a past era. As they used to say in the army of my day:

If you can’t take a joke, you shouldn’t have joined.